


A TFP Crack Fic

by Trademarkian



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Crack, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:04:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trademarkian/pseuds/Trademarkian
Summary: What it says on the tin. My first attempt at crack. No ships, no nsfw. Just pure sugar.





	1. The Gang Goes Bowling

The Nemesis pulled up to the strip mall around 7:00. A large “Beach BOWL” sign flickered out front. The air was muggy and bits of rain were beginning to fall. Teenage younglings mingled around the shops, still out, enjoying their summer vacation. It was the last day of school that day and Soundwave had picked up Rumble and Frenzy earlier. 

The twins ran around in the back of the RV, excited for the night out. Slowly, everyone got out and onto the sidewalk.   
“All right Decepticons, here is the rules.” Starscream began to read off his mental list. “We’ll split up into two teams, me, Knockout, Breakdown and Rumble on one team, and Megatron, Soundwave, Shockwave, and Frenzy on the other.” He gave a pointed look to the minicons. “And no screaming or running, we don’t want to get kicked out.” 

Megatron roughly pushed him aside. “I tell the rules around here Starscream. Shut up or you’ll be playing by yourself.”

“Frenzy and I wanna be on the same team!” “Yeah!” the twins shouted. 

Megatron sighed. “We’ll all be on the same team…happy?” They nodded.

The crew shuffled into the bowling alley. A bored and tired seeker stood at the front desk. “Welcome to the Beach Bowl ow many are playing tonight?”   
Starscream replied, “There are eight of us…Six adults and two kids.”

“Okay let me know your shoe sizes so I can give you the bowling shoes.” The employee droned. Starscream looked offended as he was handed a bright orange pair. 

“These are disgusting! I’m not a clown! Here Soundwave, you take these.” He shoved the shoes into the silent mech’s arms. 

Megatron laughed. “They’re ugly like you!” He accepted his own pair of shoes and ignored Starscream’s squawking. 

After everyone had a pair of gaudy, old bowling shoes, and Soundwave had stopped at the food counter to get some cotton candy for the twins, they made their way over to the alley. Mechs and femmes were laughing and talking, taking turns bowling and trying to score some points. Some of the teams looked professional, with their own outfits, while others were less experienced and just playing for fun. Most of them seemed to be Autobots and they felt out of place. The place was packed and all but one of the stations was taken. 

Megatron stepped in front of everyone to look at the screen. “Okay, seems like we have to put our names into the system and it will keep track of our scores. What does everyone want to put in?”

“I want to be Doctor Sexy,” Knockout said. He turned to Breakdown and said, “You can be Nurse Sexy.”

“I’m not so sure about that, but…whatever you want, Knockout.” The blue mech replied.

“Frenzy and Rumble you’ll be Thing 1 and Thing 2, heh heh.” Starscream laughed as he tried to type it in. Megatron swatted his hand away. 

“I’LL handle this. Everyone put in your own name.” It took a while but eventually everyone but Starscream had put in their own name, or a nickname.   
When he went forward to type in Lord Starscream, he shrieked. “WHO PUT MY NAME IN AS SCREAMER???” He fumed. 

Rumble and Frenzy doubled over with laughter. “Gotcha!” they cried. Everyone laughed, except Starscream, who stomped over to one of the seats and sat down with a huff. Shockwave patted him on the shoulder awkwardly. “Anger is illogical.” He said as Starscream glared at him. “Don’t touch me!!” The seeker pushed him away. 

“Enough of this, let’s play.” Megatron selected one of the heaviest bowling balls, and threw it down the alley. It managed to knock four of the pins.

He smirked and turned to his team. “See, that’s how you do it.” 

Soundwave was next. He selected a lighter ball, and after eyeing the pins for a moment, he tossed it with finesse. All of the pins went down. 

STRIKE, the screen flashed. Soundwave’s visor lit up with a smiley face. 

One by one each of the Decepticons took their first turn. Shockwave knocked down about half, Knockout’s throw only hit one, Breakdown’s ball fell in the gutter, and Rumble & Frenzy played with the gutter blockers up, so they each hit most of their pins. Then it was Starscream’s turn. 

He strutted up to the line, bowling ball in hand. He pretended to be analyzing the alley, like a pro would, and took his time getting into position. As he drew his hand back, about to toss the ball, his pede slipped and he lost his grip. The ball rolled slowly into the gutter. Sputtering, he got back to his feet.

“That’s not fair! I should get another turn!” He cried. Megatron laughed and shook his head. 

“It’s your own damn fault for being so clumsy.” 

In a fit of anger, Starscream grabbed the ball from Megatron’s hand and threw it in the air. It hit the score board, which cracked and fell. Megatron looked up at his second. “I’m not paying for that.”

Find out what happens next….


	2. On the Road Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang makes a quick getaway...almost too quick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long time not updated! Finals got crazy. But now it's summer and I'm back! For those of you who still care, thanks for waiting so long! Hope it's worth it haha

The rest of the night went by smoothly. Starscream took a time out and eventually cooled down. They apologized for the broken screen but the employees all looked high and didn’t really care. That is, until the manager came out of his office, wiping white powder off his nose and started yelling. 

“What the frag! Anyone like to tell me what happened?!” He glared daggers at the bot who was cleaning up the mess.” 

“Hmm we should better get going!” Said Knockout; everyone nodded and started whistling as they slowly creeped out of the building. 

As soon as they were out of there, everyone ran frantically to the parking lot.

“Get to the trailer quick! Let’s get the frag outta here!”

“Where did we park?”

“I don’t know; keep looking!” 

Rumble and Frenzy started running in circles, enjoying the chaos. Frenzy was laughing hysterically and Rumble was screaming. They were clearly buzzed from the amount of sugar in the snacks they had had. 

“Fragging great. We can’t remember where we parked and the brats are out of control!” Starscream snarled. “SOUNDWAVE! Control your offspring!” 

Suddenly, Knockout sauntered over to where they had been searching. “Oh, Breaky and I found the van…sorry!”

Megatron roared. “WHY DIDN’T YOU COME GET US???” Knockout had the audacity to look smug while also lowering his eyes guiltily.

“We wanted some alone time…away from the fighting and screaming…” Just then they all noticed his had paint transfers all over his face and hands. 

“We’ll have plenty of time on the road for you two to bang, let’s fucking get to the car.” Megatron sighed. Starscream rolled his eyes. 

“You better not get transfluid all over the sheets like you did last night. We only have 2 beds and I’m not sharing the top bunk with Soundwave and his creepy minions again.” 

Meanwhile, Soundwave had caught the twins and was carrying one under each arm. “Operation: Corral – Successful.” His visor lit up thumbs up.   
The gang finally clambered into the RV and Megatron took the wheel. They sped out of the parking lot onto the road. His driving wasn’t the best…The Nemesis was a mess of screeching tires and stuff tied down to the roof was in danger of falling off. 

“I think I’m going to be sick…eugh,” Starscream moaned. 

They finally merged onto the highway. The vehicle didn’t have a GPS (they had had the trailer since the 80’s, back when Soundwave, Megatron and Starscream had been in a glam rock band) (Don’t ask okay??) so Breakdown pulled up Maps on his iPhone. 

“It says we are still 400 miles away from Las Vegas…we’re going to be driving all night, aww…”

Knockout purred. “We don’t need to stay up the whole time; let’s go get some…rest,” he batted his eyelashes.

Starscream rolled his eyes. “Well just try and keep it down, the twins have to go to bed soon. They’re probably tired. And if they stay awake they’ll bother the slag out of everyone!” 

Rumble’s visor flashed in annoyance. “Hey bub! We’re cool! You should be lucky I don’t break your neck!”

“YEAH!” Frenzy chimed in. “You suck.” 

“Are you really going to let them talk to us like that??” the seeker accused Soundwave. 

“Not us…just YOU!” The children crowed. 

Megatron, who had been listening amuse this whole time, finally had enough. “SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’m SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS FRAGGING NOISE!”   
The irony was, he was guilty of the worst kind of road rage. The Nemesis was pimped out with three different car horns – one to announce their arrival (Whenever they pulled up to a rest stop or parking lot, the first few notes of La Cucaracha would blare loudly); one to get other vehicle’s attention to avoid and accident (a siren illegally borrowed from one of the Autobot’s firetrucks); and one to use when on the freeway when cars were going too slow (The first few notes of Dixie Land).  
The warlord had been liberally using all three the entire time the gang had been fighting. But no one would argue with him, after all, he was their leader. 

The kids got quiet and hid under one of the seats. But not before snagging some fruit snacks from the cabinet. 

Meanwhile, Starscream had continued to get more and more carsick, and as he was sitting in the back, he could hear Knockout and Breakdown’s love-sounds more than anyone else. It was making him nauseous. I hate everyone, he thought to himself. This piece of junk is going to break down on the road and we’re all going to be stranded. We’re going to have to sleep in tents…and I’m not sharing one with Shockwave again. That drone has no sense of personal space.

That thought stopped him cold. He hadn’t seen the scientist since the bowling alley. “Guys…” he began. “Where’s Shockwave?!” he started to panic. Not because he cared, but because he knew he was going to be blamed. It was always his fault – as second in command, it was his job to make sure all their possessions and people were accounted for. Not that he did so, Soundwave usually ended up doing most of the work, and he just took the credit. 

No one heard him the first time, so he repeated himself. 

Everyone looked around, the fact that one of their crew was missing slowly dawning on them all. 

“Hey, the harpy’s right…” Frenzy peeked his head out from under the seat, candy powder around his mouth. “Where’s the freak?” Even Knockout, who had come up from the back, had the decency to look concerned.

Soundwave, ever the stoic, was the only one who had the idea to get Megatron’s attention. He calmly went up front to alert the erratic driver. 

“Shockwave: Missing.” He said. 

Megatron slammed on the brakes, to the distress of the others on the highway. “AHHHHHH!!!!!!” With a sudden jerking movement, he spun the trailer around on the road, driving over the median onto the other side.

What has Shockwave been up to this whole time? Tune in next time to find out…..

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated weekly....please leave a review if you like it so far! I am also open to suggestions for what happens plot wise.


End file.
